Holy Hokkaido

Japan's frontier could easily be mistaken for its enormous electronic boom or outstanding automotive undertakings. However, to me, Japan's frontier is Hokkaido. Hokkaido is the northernmost and second largest island of Japan, and the most sparsely populated. It is so wild and untamed that if Clint Eastwood and Laura Ingalls Wilder happened to be Japanese, they would duel with yella' belly chickens and sleep in a small establishment amongst many grasses while calling Hokkaido home. This is not like the rest of Japan. This is Hokkaido.


Many starry nights and one full moon ago, Luke, Ashlee, Lisa, and myself packed up our covered wagon (read as: Toyota) and headed to the Sea of Japan, where we decided to ford the great void using an 18-hour ferry ride to the northland. The ride was anything but uneventful. We befriended some old Japanese men and exchanged some amenities. They popped open a fresh bottle of sake while we offered America's favorite: licorice. Not long afterwards we got a better understanding of each other's cultures as we were exchanging stories while sipping our sake through our licorice. And what would a cultural exchange be without a little competition? In a haze, Luke was challenged to a trio of arm wrestling matches. Let it be known that Luke is required to carry a concealed weapon permit when he wears long-sleeved clothing because of his upper body appendages. Yes, they are that lethal. Our new, old friends put up a good fight, but they probably should've challenged me if they wanted to boost their self-esteem.

I woke up the next morning at sea, just off the coast of Hokkaido, to the smell of fish and salty sea air, a metastasizing taste of yesterday's alcohol in my mouth, and to the semi-melodic hum of a ferry crashing into waves as it throttled down. Emma Lazarus came to mind as both the colossal island and golden sun rose up out of the horizon. We waved our waves and bowed our bows to our Japanese friends as they gave us a farewell present (a bottle of sake). We were born again as our car exited the ferry and entered a new world.

After departing the pier we headed out on some of the widest and least congested roads Japan has to offer. Where were we going? Well, simply nature (yes, I realize that sounds like a brand of granola bar). If you don't like nature, you don't go to Hokkaido. In particular, we went to Furano. Furano is in the middle of Hokkaido, far away from the freshest sushi, but oh so close to the choicest cheese, wine, and grape juice. We indulged. Also, we went to some of Furano's biggest treasures: the flower fields. Furano is known throughout Japan for its massive lavendar fields along with many other flowers. So after touring the grape juice, wine, and cheese factories, we partook in some flower sniffing with bellies bloated, heads spinning, and purple mustaches.

The next four days we camped and hiked in three different national parks--Daisetsuzan, Shiretoko, and Akan. Daisetsuzan is the largest national park in Japan. It is home to many rugged snow-capped mountains, the longest and deepest gorge in Japan, and miles upon miles of hiking trails. Like just about everywhere else in Japan, there are many onsen in Hokkaido. Onsen are public baths of hot, natural spring water, oftentimes containing many minerals that help relax sore bones and muscles and keep you looking young. We would generally take an onsen everyday after a long hike or cramped drive in the car.

Shiretoko National Park is the easternmost peninsula in Japan. It is also a UNESCO World Heritage Site because of its scenic beauty, untamed wilderness, and ice flows from the cold Pacific during the winter time. In fact, Shiretoko is the southernmost location in the northern hemisphere where you can view the ice flows. Also, Shiretoko is the Ainu word (the indigenous people of Hokkaido) for "the ends of the earth." I can testify that it truly is out at the end of the road far away from the rest of the world. We did a day hike to the top of the tallest mountain on the peninsula, Rausu-dake, on a sunny day. Well, it was sunny at the bottom at least. About 3 hours into the hike, the weather changed for the worse. It started raining, it got cold, we were walking on ice, snow, and mud, and the view was about as far as you could reach. Luke and I didn't get discouraged though, in fact, it invigorated us. So, we ran up the mountain in our gym shorts and $3 rain jackets. After passing a plethora of Japanese hikers gawking at us on their way down with looks that my mother would often give me after I did something completely brainless, we made it to the top! The view was supposed to be amazing; from it you would normally be able to see an active volcano (Io-san) the Okhotsk Sea, the Pacific Ocean, and the disputed islands off the coast that are now Russian owned and operated. However, on this particular day we couldn't even see ten feet below the summit. It was pitiful, remarkably ugly, and hypothermic, but it was also awesome and life-enhancing. To celebrate, we cooked ramen at the top and talked with the 72-year old couple that also somehow miraculously made the trip. Never did cup-o-ramen taste so good.



We ran down the entire mountain in about 1.5 hours. At the bottom our legs were aching like an arthritic tap dancer trying to keep the beat to Rimsky-Korsakov's Flight of the Bumblebee. We found the nearest beer vending machine and rotenburo (outdoor onsen) and relaxed. The rotenburo happened to be right next to a nature trail where lots of tourists (including Japanese teenage girls) would walk. Luke and I were in no mood to be modest, so we just ignored their girlish giggles and recuperated, naturally.

Thankfully, the rest of the trip wasn't as physically demanding as Daisetsuzan and Shiretoko. We drove along the coastline, taking in the Russian islands and panoramic views of the earth's meniscus. We feasted on sushi and seafood ramen filled with crab, clam, octopus, and other strange things. In Akan we visited an Ainu village and learned a little about their dying heritage. Sapporo was filled with visits to their famous beer gardens and meanderings down "Ramen Alley." Also, we hit up the dance clubs there....so, I had to trade in my hiking boots for my Chacos. Anyway, it was an awesome trip and a place where I would love to go back.

Tall Foreigner Visits Tall Expatriate in Japan -- Country Altered Forever

Gunma, JAPAN -- Lucas Coan Paulsen, a high school teacher from Brooklyn, New York, normally spends his summer afternoons visiting the local Dairy Queens in his native Iowa while contemplating what barn party to attend and which hog farmer's daughter to get smitten with. Paulsen, known for his tall, athletic frame and insatiable basketball skills, often shouted "I-OOOWA!!" while watching Big Ten football and jockeying with his housemates for a place on the sofa while attending college at St. Olaf. This is where I first met him, and this is where I learned that the only thing good to come out of Iowa is I-35.

Some say Luke was born with silver chopsticks in his mouth. I can testify after watching him eat, that, yes, he was. No tutorial was needed for this guy. Luke with chopsticks is analogous to Gretzky with his hockey stick, and I don't mean he plays with his food.

Paulsen decided to spice up his summer by visiting the wasabi-filled, hand-shaking-phobic country of Japan, and me of course. This being his first run-in with Asian culture since he watched Karate Kid in 3rd grade, Luke (or as known by the Japanese, "Rukie") has been partaking in Japanese customs ever since--bowing like a bobblehead doll, eating rice and raw fish with two small sticks, and seeing all that the country has to offer.

That's right! Hear no evil. Speak no evil. See no evil. And, smell no evil.

Once settled in the quiet mountain village I call home, there will be no time to unpack his suitcases because Luke and I are planning on perusing the entire country in order to find the best tea, sushi, sights, and sounds that the country has to offer during his month long stay here. The trip itinerary goes as follows: First, Uenomura (my village and one of the smallest villages in all of Japan, if you ask me) to see what life in the (imported) shoes of Isaac looks like. Then, the northernmost island of Hokkaido to do some camping and hiking while peering across bays into Russia and shooing off bears the size of 4 sumo wrestlers. Next, we will be whisked off into the sunset in the land of the rising sun while travelling at 285 kph on the uber-cool bullet trains to see the cultural side of Japan in beautiful Kyoto, Nara, and Hiroshima. Lastly, Tokyo. How will Tokyo vie versus the city that never sleeps (a place where Luke calls home)?



Of course, there will be will be many maniacal meanderings and unplanned scamperings to places well off the radar screen. I am excited to see what the month has in store. Moreoever, I am just happy to spend this summer with a guy that is as big and goofy as I am. Ready or not, Japan, here we come!